Fierce Marriage: What does it mean to have eyes for each other?


What does it mean to have eyes for each other? Simply put, it means that you’re each others’ ultimate standards of attractiveness. Let’s explore.

We live in a big world full of billions of people. It’s unrealistic, unhealthy, and unproductive to compare your husband or wife to everyone else. If we’re undisciplined with our eyes, there will be countless opportunities where the “grass seems greener” just because it’s unfamiliar.
However, when you set your husband or wife as your ultimate standard of what you find attractive, they become the one and only person in the entire world who can satisfy your desire. It’s about appreciating and being grateful for the husband or wife God has given you.

Our culture champions desire above all else. “If you want it, it’s your right to have it!” That’s just not true, or healthy. Our desires are not naturally aligned with what’s best for us, and they’re certainly not aligned with God’s best by default. (Example: why can’t binge-watching Netflix and eating cartons of ice cream just be ‘good’ for you??) So we must choose to set our eyes on good desires. We must let the gospel inform our desires and motivate our actions.

Consider Philippians 4:8: “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” The verse prior to that says that the peace of God will “guard your hearts and minds”. The very peace of God is enough to find contentment in him and all he provides. Christ is enough! Everything else he gives is a good, gracious gift… including your spouse.

As married couples looking to build a healthy, lifelong union, we must be on guard. We must choose to have “eyes only for each other”. Doing so affords you the great joy of finding full pleasure, enjoyment, and contentment in each other.

Stay fierce,
Ryan & Selena

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